She self-harmed at one point. He won’t stop lying so my misery and resulting heart problems are now the collateral damage. even if it is fiction. Don't just wait to feel good. So, when you remember the name of the book, please share. We were both struggling, both hurting and well. And it is not going away anytime soon. It had been prepared before I arrived. I had been clean for years when I suspected my spouse of cheating and the pain was so immediate and intense, I ran out the door at 4am to meet a former contact to buy pills. But my H could have been sued b/c she worked for him too. I can’t remember the name of the book, but it was about… Guess what! He denied it all. Is Yours at Risk? There are no … And of course, we often didn’t look further than each other. Your partner is probably only a part of what is going on. Be adaptive and see things for what they are. I hadn’t moved in that circle of people for so many years that I didn’t know this guy had resorted to using needles (something I’d never done and will never do). Do You Have "Narcissist-Family-Holiday Affective Disorder"? Don’t let your emotions get the best of you. The seemingly “unfairness” of the situation sent us looking for someone or something to blame or at least, something or someone to change. I would like to know how somebody else handled this situation…. Photo by Eric Muhr on Unsplash How to Deal With Loss and Prevent Collateral Damage. Who is there for him? How would I have time for our other children? The sweet, older gentleman and his car that I crushed were collateral damage resulting from my emotional response to being dumped by a stupid boy. It was a huge one time mistake. Hopefully, collateral damage has been minimal for you. This will change overtime. Now I will spare you all the other dramatic details that eventually resulted from this incident, but immediately after his call I started sobbing and was furious at the same time. The belt released and I fell forward, banged my head on something and came to. Brian and I now are each other’s primary supporter, but early on in our marriage, we couldn’t rescue each other because we were each barely holding our head above water ourselves. I am a recovered addict of painkillers. How you cannot change someone unless they want to change. But that is time for me and thinking nothing negative or damaging. My daughter was usually home in the AM and got to hear everything… and I mean EVERYTHING. There is hope. I put it out there. My son said it felt like an introduction to the OW to see if he would accept her. The needle touched my skin, but I pulled away in time and bolted from the house. Now he/she has a $13,000 attorney bill, lost his/her driver’s license and could lose their job. Does she need a shoulder to lean on? So sorry again for your continued nightmare. His dad is now recovering from surgery. I’v tried to tell her it’s not her fault, but my plea has fallen on deaf ears. I told my wife our old bed matress is still in our yard where she was intimate with him. I lost my job last week I’ll be honest i struggled to focus on my job. This takes a special kind of intelligence. I am willing to let the woman stay and help my son until i can get a replacement if ever but I have asked that she not be invited to our house or my wife to socialize with her. The other potential collateral damage that CSs never seem worried about is their own demise. The ow stalked and harassed my older two on multiple social media sites. But the oldest is away at university and I doubt their relationship will ever be what it was. I’ll pass it along as soon as I find it. If we’re depressed that our spouse cheated and we go out and get pulled over for drunk driving, is it our spouse’s fault? The list of questions was long, but I must confess that in asking myself all these questions, I don’t think I questioned what impact this diagnosis would have on our marriage. Collateral damage is defined as “any damage or wounding of an unintentional target”. PTSD. He said that since he was about to go away to college, it would be better to break up now since we probably would eventually anyways, and he really wanted to enjoy the rest of his summer as a free man. She may still be in the fog (called affair fog if you never heard of it) and it can be a very difficult period. Start to talk to your partner about his or her needs. Sounds like something out of Fatal Attraction. While I’m at home i struggle with the triggers as i know where they intimate. On her relationship with her children, on her whole life. More importantly, the larger community remains unaware of this wider range of harm caused by anti-same-sex and pro-heterosexual marriage beliefs.
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